So here’s the crisp version of my backstory:
My writing career sputtered for 9 years before I finally woke up to the reality that I was failing myself. I’d been writing, blogging, interacting with fellow writers, and marketing and … truth be told, as much as I love what I’ve put out so far, my career wasn’t going anywhere.
Okay, not entirely true. It was going somewhere. Somewhere unsatisfying and nauseating. Thinking of my writing career made me queasy.
I didn’t have much income. I was making a dismal living from something I felt okay with doing. I wasn’t able to provide more for my family. Pimples broke out all over my face. My hair thinned. I felt ugly and inferior. I fled from plans made with friends because I didn’t have that in my budget. I scrimped. I saved. I swallowed stress that threatened to bubble over, foolishly thinking I was “handling” my situation.
With wide-open eyes, I stayed blind to how that was all gnawing me up.
Until I hit the bleakest point.
And asked the dreadful question:
Give this up?
A slow, deliberate, and sobering gust of wind brushed by. I realized if I picked something else as my work, I’d never be genuinely happy again. And it broke me.
It was this or the rest of my lifetime spent unfulfilled.
I had to make this work. Which meant, to start with, I had to face and challenge deep, internal conflicts – my dwindling self-confidence and my self-care.
Now, I won’t make you cringe by telling you I felt like a phoenix reborn. (I didn’t. There’s been a lot of learning and pushing through and being pulled back again. If only we could set ourselves on passionate sparks and burst into a startover!)
No, I took better care of myself physically and mentally. I read. I picked mentors to follow. I learned. I fell into more action. I went into freelance writing (again) and learned how to communicate with clients. I learned to prioritise what they want above what I think was best for them and their stories. I learned to place my ego aside. I learned to find the “Fun” factor in my projects so I could show up to work cheerily.
I learned not to lose sight of my own writing, my own stories. Over the course of 7 months, I learned to dig deeper and uncover what my deep desires are, what my next steps are, and how I can get there. (I haven’t reached yet, of course, but I feel progress. I also feel a different person – more of who I want to be and less of who I don’t like being.)
My aim is to write and illustrate whimsical, moving stories & make a quietly flourishing living out of it.
My journey on this blog is to explore strategic ways in building our inner works as a fiction writer. So we can achieve the fully satisfying results we dearly want. And more ~
- More genuine confidence and gentle resilience.
- Ways that help us show up to work in a cheery mood every day. (Yes, every day.)
- Specific strategies to allow us to play bigger. (I want to build my own creative playbook – filled with strategies that’ll work best for me to get to my next level. And I want that for you, too.)
So we can BE CLOSER to the writer we dream of becoming.
Very much so, I want this for us.
Please Tell Me:
Has your writing career played out the way you want it to? How satisfied are you (a scale of 1 – 10)?